Control
by SwordMagess13
Summary: First, it was Ginny. Now it's Harry Potter, 18, going on insane. He's over living, over pain. Everyone he's loved has been killed. Rated for character death and suicide... also for language.
1. Crash

Crash  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from Harry Potter.  
  
Warning: This is an extremely angsty piece of work and I was inspired to write it by one of my old friends (over AIM) because he said that writing your feelings can help you feel better. Also, character death and suicide. You have been warned. It is your choice to go any further than this.  
  
Life's a whole-hell of a bitch. It appears, also, that I am hated by life.  
  
I feel pain at first. Then comes the calm. Nothing hurts and nothing bleeds. And I hung on to life for my friends. But I have never had a reason to live. Life is a bitch.  
  
It got worse, and then it got better. My life sucked so bad at times that I nearly did what I was taught to never do. Me, the good Catholic girl, told never to kill. Me, Virginia Weasley, no longer missed by my family. No longer loved as a son, but merely treated as a burden. Even my older brother, Ronald, is treated better than I.  
  
I suppose. Never mind.  
  
'I hate my fucking life! I hate my fucking life! I was a goddammit good girl, but everything happened wrong!!! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT!?' A calming breath, made me even more furious. 'HOW DARE YOU LOCK ME UP IN THIS HELL-HOLE! YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ME!' I suppose I should have calmed down, but viewing my life now, I realize that could never have happened.  
  
'DAMN YOU, CHO CHANG! YOU STOLE THE ONLY BOY I EVER LOVED!' I remember now, I screamed that in her face, with a bunch of other suicidal freaks, as I. There was a whole bunch, at Hogwarts.  
  
I drew my wand, and shout, 'AVADA KEDAVRA!' The strange incantation feels perfect falling from my tongue, as 'Little Miss Perfect, Cho Chang' falls over, dead. This feeling, this glamour at being able to take life this way, maybe this is the reason so many become Death Eaters.  
  
I stalk over to Harry, the one boy I ever loved. Before the teachers can stop me, it is done. I killed the Boy-Who-Lived. 'AVADA KEDAVRA!' But after killing Cho, the spell backfired. *Thank God for Hell.*  
  
A/N: You like? It's a bit angsty, I know. but still. Plz review! 


	2. Burn

Burn

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Harry Potter.

Warning: This is an extremely angsty piece of work and I was inspired to write it by one of my old friends (over AIM) because he said that writing your feelings can help you feel better… Also, character death and suicide… You have been warned. It is your choice to go any further than this…

A/N: This is the extremely deranged thoughts of Harry Potter, eighteen, going on insane.

*Fall down and bleed, get up and scream… Nothing will change what has happened…*

/I'm this 'savior' who lived whilst everyone around me falls and dies… Damn, my life is so bloody screwed…/

I have considered this, the same way Ginny did before she died… But I know I can't. _Bloody hell! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MY DAMN FUCKED UP LIFE!_ I scream to myself.

Life is like a burden… A sort of… Sharp pain, when you realize what it actually is… But after you get over the shock of life being like a hell's incarnate, it becomes more of a dull ache…

That's until she sneaks up on you and takes you by surprise, destroying everyone you loved or cared about…

I'm left, with no one else but me. I see this flame in front of me and this ethereal voice tells me to take the flame and burn…

And I do. With no one else but me in this hellhole, I guess I might as well…

Searing pain, worse than the stomachache life gave me, starts at my hands and travels through my arms and shoulders. It moves down, to my toes and up, to my head. My skull pounds as this furious pain concentrates itself at my forehead. I feel like I'll explode.

I lose control.

This pure… Pain, it drives me to my death, or almost… I feel renewed, but somehow, not me. Darkness closes in from the sky as Voldemort attacks again, Dementors and Death Eaters closing in as well. My second to last coherent thought, and regret, on Gaia is that I will never see Ron and Hermione's daughter of one month.

A flare of light starts at my hands and travels through my body, and at last, I win.

__

I win!

Dementors and Death Eaters' bodies lay strewn at my feet. My godfather and Remus, both dead… In the most gruesome of ways… They fed Remus silver nitrate as a werewolf and Sirius was basically dissected…

Voldemort is finally brought down… And not without a huge cost… Gaia will forever be barren and infertile as long as evil stalks the world.

My last thought is that I will never see another sunrise and then, something flies at me and a blade pierces my chest. No pain, no pleasure… just a void.


End file.
